Game

Indicators of Interest: Is She into You?

Sometimes a woman gives off fake indications of interest (ioi’s) because she has some ulterior motive, like making someone else jealous, getting a bigger tip, etc. So how do you know if she is really into you?

Many signals can be faked. A woman might maintain eye contact.  She can give lots of fake touch signals. She might play with her hair and giggle. Her body language might be focused on you. A woman might smile or wink at you. All of these signals can be faked.

A woman who is really into you will give some signals that cannot be faked. (I saw all the following signals in a 20-something lady with whom I danced this last week.) For instance, when she first sees you, do her pupils dilate? Did her eyebrows go up when she saw you?  Does it seem like she briefly held her breath? Did she take a breath that’s a little deeper than normal? Do her cheeks flush a little bit when she sees you? Is her gaze locked on you? Does she move her head inside the one-foot zone of your personal space near your head? If she does most of these, she is into you. The more of these she does, the stronger the attraction.

Does she want you to approach her?  If she does, she will attempt to make eye contact with you.  The more she attempts, the more she has invested.  Don’t necessarily approach on her first attempt.  Be aloof.  Don’t be put off if another guy approaches her first.  Make her work to get you to approach.  Start a slow, indirect approach and wait for her to attempt eye contact even if another guy is with her.  You can continue a slow approach after making eye contact.  Ask her to go chat privately with you nearby.

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Game

My Streaking Career at Duke

I had gotten accepted to Duke at midsemester and was assigned to live in a dorm belonging to a local fraternity.   I was voted into the fraternity and started going to their parties, which were cosponsored by a greek sorority whose name escapes me.  Anyway, the parties were arranged by the girlfriend of Jim, our president, and they were shacked up in his room, which was next to mine.  Jim’s girlfriend, whom I’ll call Kim, was a petite blond tomboy from Texas and she’d sometimes pass me when I was on my way to the showers.  I had a set of swimmer’s pects and a sixpack and she’d glance at them when I was wrapped in a towel.  Sometimes she’d ask me if she and Jim kept me awake at night and I’d say, “Jim’s moans weren’t that loud, but your screaming was too much.”  She’d blush and giggle and fiddle with her hair.  I’d cock my head and smirk and hold her gaze until she glanced away.  I never followed up on the flirting; I liked Jim and he was half again my size and built like a bear.  Jim also carried a lot of social clout as president.  I didn’t want to tangle with Jim over a girl.

Anyway, I didn’t think that this minor flirting was any big deal, but it apparently caused me problems later.   It was springtime.  Streaking was all the rage at Duke at the time and I had participated in a mass streaking event.  One day I was forced to streak when several guys from my fraternity chased me and grabbed me and disrobed me.  As they were disrobing me, I heard some girls giggling nearby.  I looked and saw Kim and two other girls watching.  I hid in the trees and headed back to the dorm buck naked.  It was chilly; Kim had pity on me and gave me a coat.  I made it back to the dorm.  Later I asked one of the guys who stripped me why they did it.  They told me that Jim had told them that Kim had a crush on me and she asked him to do the streaking prank, so Jim had recruited them.

Was that the end of Kim’s crush?  Hell, no!  She’d stare at my towel in the hallway when she passed me on my way to the showers and sometimes try to grab my towel.  And I’d flirt right back at her, saying, “Now’s not the right time.  Kim, just let me know if Jim is ever gonna be away on a weekend and we can get together.”  Then she’d smile and giggle.

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Autism

“Danger, Will Robinson! Warning!” This is what the Space Family Robinson would say if you were thinking about entering a relationship with a person who has Aspberger’s Syndrome (aka an “aspy”). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome Any relationship is likely to result in pain for the person in any sort of a relationship with an aspy. There is a particularly effective way of relating to aspies. First, make sure you have a thick skin. Second, realize that the pain that they cause is unintended. Third, don’t tell them that they need to think before they speak. Oftentimes, their brains just aren’t wired so that they can think as fast as normals can about the effect of what they are about to say. If they take the time necessary to do that, they will simply be unable to keep up with the conversation and will just keep silent (which is pretty typical of us aspies, btw, and a real shame). So, if an aspy says something hurtful or inappropriate, give him/her a few seconds to realize their mistake and apologize. If no apology is forthcoming, let them know that they have said something wrong and explain what they said that was inappropriate or hurtful. Then give them a few seconds to ask you questions about the conversation and what they said. For an excellent example of how to deal with an aspy in a conversation, go watch “As Good as It Gets” and see how Carol the Waitress is very skillful at dealing with the aspy Melvin Udall. Note that Melvin is obsessive/compulsive, which is also common among us aspies. I have a few occasions where I am obsessive about some stupid stuff and nobody can tell it.

“Danger, Will Robinson! Warning!”

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Game

Is she into you?

Sometimes a woman gives off fake indications of interest (ioi’s) because she has some ulterior motive, like making someone else jealous, getting a bigger tip, etc. So how do you know if she is really into you?

Many signals can be faked. A woman might maintain eye contact.  She can give lots of fake touch signals. She might play with her hair and giggle. Her body language might be focused on you. A woman might smile or wink at you. All of these signals can be faked.

A woman who is really into you will give some signals that cannot be faked. (I saw all the following signals in a 20-something lady with whom I danced this last week.) For instance, when she first sees you, do her pupils dilate? Did her eyebrows go up when she saw you?  Does it seem like she briefly held her breath? Did she take a breath that’s a little deeper than normal? Do her cheeks flush a little bit when she sees you? Is her gaze locked on you? Does she move her head inside the one-foot zone of your personal space near your head? If she does most of these, she is into you. The more of these she does, the stronger the attraction.

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