“Danger, Will Robinson! Warning!” This is what the Space Family Robinson would say if you were thinking about entering a relationship with a person who has Aspberger’s Syndrome (aka an “aspy”). Any relationship is likely to result in pain for the person in any sort of a relationship with an aspy. There is a particularly effective way of relating to aspies. First, make sure you have a thick skin. Second, realize that the pain that they cause is unintended. Third, don’t tell them that they need to think before they speak. Oftentimes, their brains just aren’t wired so that they can think as fast as normals can about the effect of what they are about to say. If they take the time necessary to do that, they will simply be unable to keep up with the conversation and will just keep silent (which is pretty typical of us aspies, btw, and a real shame). So, if an aspy says something hurtful or inappropriate, give him/her a few seconds to realize their mistake and apologize. If no apology is forthcoming, let them know that they have said something wrong and explain what they said that was inappropriate or hurtful. Then give them a few seconds to ask you questions about the conversation and what they said. For an excellent example of how to deal with an aspy in a conversation, go watch “As Good as It Gets” and see how Carol the Waitress is very skillful at dealing with the aspy Melvin Udall. Note that Melvin is obsessive/compulsive, which is also common among us aspies. I have a few occasions where I am obsessive about some stupid stuff and nobody can tell it.

“Danger, Will Robinson! Warning!”


Is she into you?

Sometimes a woman gives off fake indications of interest (ioi’s) because she has some ulterior motive, like making someone else jealous, getting a bigger tip, etc. So how do you know if she is really into you?

Many signals can be faked. A woman might maintain eye contact.  She can give lots of fake touch signals. She might play with her hair and giggle. Her body language might be focused on you. A woman might smile or wink at you. All of these signals can be faked.

A woman who is really into you will give some signals that cannot be faked. (I saw all the following signals in a 20-something lady with whom I danced this last week.) For instance, when she first sees you, do her pupils dilate? Did her eyebrows go up when she saw you?  Does it seem like she briefly held her breath? Did she take a breath that’s a little deeper than normal? Do her cheeks flush a little bit when she sees you? Is her gaze locked on you? Does she move her head inside the one-foot zone of your personal space near your head? If she does most of these, she is into you. The more of these she does, the stronger the attraction.